I was just realizing that I want you more than I've wanted anything in a really long time, but then you remembered and it felt like a door being slammed before I even got a chance to walk through it. Which maybe I should have expected of a day I planned to relax and enjoy myself and forget the world for a while so I'd have the reserves to deal with one of my least favorite days of the year the next day, because it's a very me thing, from both lives, to have my plans utterly and completely thrown out the window by the universe.