nola_northstar | (no subject)

(no subject)

Private
I knew I didn't want a normal life, but that doesn't mean I wanted all of this. Jean-Paul, Northstar. My "secret identity." How do I handle having two lives in my head?

... and how have I survived without my twin sister? She was my other life. Is she safe?
... and I am so in love with my husband, Jean-Paul's husband, but Seth is falling for another guy entirely.
... who is someone Jean-Paul knows better than I do.
... and is Kyle safe, and loved? I miss him. I don't know him, Seth has never met him. But god, I miss him.
... and this feels like being brainwashed, and dying, and searching for my sister, and watching people die.
... and this feels like acting.
... and this feels like loss.
... and this feels impossible.

Caleb
I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't want you to leave, but I was completely overwhelmed. And grieving, I think.

Well, life is a pit of hellfire.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Your boyfriend probably wouldn't like it if I tried it the fun way.

He’d probably insist on being there.

That's only awkward some of the time.

You’re the type to make everyone feel welcome.

It's my southern hospitality.

I have no hospitality.

Nah, you were hospitable to me.

Well, you’re good company. How’s your hellfire of a life?

Mostly normal, though the portrait in the attic that ages instead of me has seen better days. What about you?

I never want to see that portrait. I’m exhausted.

From what? Work?

Mostly. I need massages and mud baths.

I might know of a place...

My hero. Pamper me.

Are you free tomorrow afternoon? There's an opening. (Don't say it.)

I won't say it because you're being a gentleman, but you know I'm thinking it. Early or late afternoon?

1-2ish. And I admire your restraint.

I can do that. I'm also great at restraints.

Okay, I'm rescinding my invite.

You are not, you're just mad you didn't think of this one in advance.

Reflexes slow as you age.

You still have so much life left to live.

Not if I let the mud pull be under.

No, the mud will revitalize you and get you off your perfect ass, right back into living life.

And make my ass even more perfect. Okay, I can embrace this.